Thursday, March 27, 2008
Score one for the good guys!
Posted by LMorrison at 8:24 AM 0 comments
Monday, March 24, 2008
Frohe Ostern!
Posted by LMorrison at 3:17 PM 0 comments
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Anyone want a puppy???
She's almost 9 weeks old, very cute, crate trained...
PLEASE?!?!
Posted by LMorrison at 8:32 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Ups and downs (but not mushing-related)
Posted by LMorrison at 9:42 AM 1 comments
Friday, March 14, 2008
DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!
You are about to read something shocking. Something horrifying. Something you'll want to deny from the very depths of your soul. But you must read on anyway, because you should be concerned for yourself, for your family, and for kind strangers on the street. This fact that I'm about to share with you may shake you to your very core, but you owe it to yourself to be educated on the subject matter. So, here goes:
Puppies are innately evil creatures.
As is the case with so much of the general public, I am sure that you were unaware of this fact. You may shake your head and deny that such an idea could ever even be conceived, but after you've examined the evidence, you'll know that what I am telling you is indeed true. The danger cannot be denied.
I should begin by saying that puppies were, indeed, originally designed by an intelligent and benevolent being. They possess many qualities that lead some to believe that they are cute, cuddly, loving little critters who want to shadow your every move because they simply adore you; however, at some point in the refining process, something went terribly, horribly wrong. The final product was an evil genius’ technical masterpiece: a finely tuned demolition machine encased in a guise of sweetness and light.
Let’s examine the evidence, shall we?
Firstly, puppies are born as very small, helpless creatures who can do nothing for themselves. They are often covered with a fine coating of soft fur that may be any number of a variety of colors, all of which are appealing to susceptible humans. Newborn puppies’ eyes are closed for approximately ten days, giving them ample opportunity to play on human sympathies. It is our nature, you see, to pity the meek and mild and to develop affection for those who cannot help themselves. Puppies seek to make the initial emotional connection with humans during this early stage of life.
Sometime during the third week of existence, puppies’ eyes open and puppies take on an expression of sleepy disinterest. Their somnolence is endearing and often, humans will begin to pick puppies up, hold them, and talk to them during this stage. Most puppies’ response is to be very still and possibly even to fall asleep while a human is cradling them. This is a perfectly-designed ploy to deepen the emotional connection. Wise humans will be very wary, because this connection will later be used in the puppy’s mission to seek and destroy.
As the maturation process moves along, puppies initiate a number of activities that lead humans to believe that they are weak, clumsy, well-meaning animals that could never be capable of evil. They tussle, they tumble, and they learn to clumsily climb. They punctuate playtime with well-orchestrated “wipeouts” that cause humans to chuckle and muse about their lack of coordination. No educated human should fall prey to these tactics, but many have and many will continue to do so.
Sometime around the seventh week of life, puppies make their ultimate play – the play that puts them in perfect alignment to score an easy kill after it’s all said and done. They eagerly gallop to greet visitors, enthusiastically licking their hands and faces in what many would incorrectly interpret to be a loving manner. In truth, the puppies’ taste buds and sense of smell are beginning to reach their finely-tuned peak at this age, and wise puppies are merely sampling the buffet of humans, deciding which human looks and tastes the best. Once this decision is made, the puppy will go out of his or her way to endear him or herself to the chosen human in hopes that the human will “pick” him or her out of the litter.
Once the decision is made, the lucky puppy is in a prime position to begin to plan the veritable destruction of his or her new human or humans and their home. Typically this begins at a pace so slow that the human is unaware of the impending danger. Smart puppies initially transition to their new homes with every appearance of excitement and wonder. It is during the first night that the first assault on the humans will begin.
After the lights are off and the house is quiet, the puppy who had been silently and safely tucked away in his or her crate will begin to wail and whine mournfully at a level of 80 decibels or more. No manner of soft words will comfort it, and the terrible cacophony will continue until one of two things occurs: either the puppy will be placed in the bed with the humans (a wonderful location from which to disturb sleep while planning further assault) or the puppy will continue to wail until morning arrives (depriving the humans of vital sleep). This activity will continue nightly for up to several weeks, or until the puppy has adequately planned his or her next plan of attack.
Without fail, a puppy will begin to show “improvement” in the wailing-in-the-crate area, but this should be an omen of more terrible things to come. Often a puppy will lull a human into falsely hoping that the puppy situation is improving; instead, the puppy will move his or her focus to another area, such as biting.
It never fails that one day, a human will be lovingly be playing with a puppy when suddenly, a terrible attack is launched and the poor human is defenseless and unsure of how to respond. The puppy will viciously bite, rip and tear clothing or flesh from the human while wagging his or her tail in what appears to be a friendly manner. (In reality, it is an outward expression of the puppies’ joy at a successful attack.) The target of the puppy mouthing will rapidly expand until nothing, neither human nor household item, is safe. Shoes may be destroyed, furniture may be “remodeled”, electronic items may be “rewired” and fingers may turn into bruised, swollen stumps due to constant perforation by the cleverly-designed puppy teeth. Simultaneously, most puppies will begin their mission to destroy the house by soaking the entire dwelling with urine. No floor surface is spared as the puppy unpredictably squats and soils. Ten thousand dollar Oriental rugs have been ruined in this very manner.
And so, you see, between sleep deprivation, indiscriminate chewing, vicious biting, and home soiling, the puppies’ sole mission is to destroy humans and all that they own. I urge you NEVER to let your guard down. Do not fall prey to the great puppy ploy! Should you be so unfortunate as to do so, you will find that you are merely a shell of your former self, and that your home resembles a post-nuclear-blast site.
Unfortunately, once you have been taken by the puppy scheme, there is little to be done in the way of disaster mitigation. The only known cure is to ask for help from a responsible party who can guide you in the recovery process. The journey is long and the way is hard. So please, I urge you to save yourself the trouble.
JUST SAY NO TO PUPPIES! :-D
Posted by LMorrison at 11:15 AM 0 comments
Thursday, March 6, 2008
File' and Tasso Visit
Posted by LMorrison at 7:44 AM 0 comments
Monday, March 3, 2008
Ah, it seems like it's been about two weeks since the Musher's Banquet, but it's only been five days. How time flies when you're having fun! Let me see if I can recap a little bit of the madness from the past week.
Our friends Eric Rogers and his wife Marti graciously purchased our Musher's Banquet tickets for us and we were given tickets to sit at their table. Boy, am I moving up in the world! I felt bad taking a spot at their table, since I didn't really do anything to help Eric out this year. I didn't go on one single training run with him, and I only staged him out of two races. Not much work to earn two banquet tickets, I think. Oh well. The banquet was just as I remembered it to be last year -- fun, but long! Eric drew bib number 25, which meant that we would be able to have him out on the trail fairly early (at least in the top quarter of the race, almost) and that was a bit of a relief. Poor Dr. Robert Bundtzen drew the very last bib, meaning he'd be the 97th sled to go out. Interesting, since his kennel partner, Zack Steer, drew bib number 26, just one spot behind Eric. Zack and Bob's handlers would be waiting around a long, long time between staging Zack and staging Bob. Poor guys!
We actually had to leave the banquet around 9 PM, since both Matt and I had to go to work bright and early the next morning. Word has it that the banquet stretched on past 11 PM, so I'm glad that we left early. As it was, we got home after 10. If you're thinking that the banquet can get a little out of hand, I think you're probably right. :)
Friday, I went to work for just enough time to get paid for the full day (oh, did I actually type that?) and then hurried home to make my tiramisu cream cheese spread and run over to Bonnie's to help her set up for her open house. The hours were supposed to be from 1 PM - 6 PM but come 1 o'clock, nobody but Eric had shown up. I began to worry that maybe we had overestimated the number of people who would be stopping by (we had gotten word that two tour buses were planning a visit) but my fears were unjustified -- by 2 PM there was quite a crowd. There was a spread of food showcasing everything from various cheese and cracker combinations to roast turkey (courtesy of Marti), ham, pea salad, delicious spicy meatballs, artichoke hearts, veggies with dip, and spicy italian ham. Mmmm...it was enough to make any musher drool!
By mid-afternoon, our expected mushers had made their debuts. At one point, Sebastian Schnuelle (whom Bonnie hosts each year), Eric Rogers, Ed Stielstra, Jake Berkowitz, and Bryan Bearss were in one tiny room tucked away from the main action, animatedly chatting about the trail. Sorry, I tried to get a photo but nobody would look at me, and I'm always hesitant to interrupt these guys. Oh, to have been a fly on the wall in that room -- I'm sure that I could have learned a TON. It's always awe-inspiring to me to be in the presence of genius :)
I had quite a nice time doing my usual thing, blending into the background and listening to people chat. Occasionally I chimed in with an answer to questions like "Who is that dog?" or "Who is that musher?" I also had a lovely visit with Kim Bertrand from DRIVEN Sled Dog Photos. She was up from WA to cover a local musher, Laura Daugerau. We had many chuckles over being from the South and being new to sled dogs. I got to see pictures of her rescued Siberians and her dryland rig. Pretty cool stuff!
There were still folks arriving at 7 PM but by 8, everyone was pretty much gone. After an extensive amount of dish washing, Matt and I headed home to feed and take care of our own crew and to prepare for the Ceremonial Start in downtown Anchorage on the following morning.
By 8 AM on Saturday, we were parked and on a mission to find Eric's dog truck downtown. He ended up being assigned to what I'd swear was the WORST parking spot on earth -- 4th and H, nearest to the inlet. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't looked at the forecast prior to leaving the house. 14 degrees and sunny, it said, with a high near 30. Wow, that sounded great! I put on what I thought was too many layers anyway (boy I am glad that I did) When we found his truck, it felt like we were in a wind tunnel. It had to be about 10 degrees with a 40 mph wind!! Things were blowing all over the place. Poor Trish couldn't even keep her free food hot. The water in the chafing dishes froze even though there was a lit can of sterno beneath them.
We had some good help getting Eric's team to the start line. Lexi was to ride the tag sled behind Eric and his Iditarider, so when we got to the start line, she ran back to the tag sled and I ran up front to stand with the leaders. Platinum and Dash were in lead, and I'm proud to say that they were not affected at all by the ruckus of the Ceremonial Start! It seemed like old hat to them -- after all, they had been through this before and it was a piece of cake. Before I knew it, the count down ended, Eric and Lexi were off, and the ITC Security was yelling at us to clear the chute so that Zack Steer and his team could pull up unobstructed. I was disappointed because this meant that I couldn't stand and watch Zack from any sort of a decent vantage point. I did manage to snap a picture of Bonnie Steer as they went by, but security was constantly yapping at me to move, so that's about all I had time to get. This morning I finally got to watch Zack's start on the Indsider and it ALMOST made up for not being able to see it in person.
Nonetheless, Sunday morning started bright and early and we were out on Willow Lake by 9:15. Word had it that the mushers were supposed to be on the lake by 11 AM, but most mushers were clearly running behind. Eric didn't arrive until nearly 11:30. It made no difference, as Matt and I milled around, looking at other mushers and their rigs, noting what one did different than another. We got a chance to "shop" in the community center, admiring Dave Totten's beautiful artwork and some lovely skin sewing displayed by a native lady. It was nice to have a little bit of "down time" before the madness began.
I suppose that I should mention that Lexi, the ever-capable and knowledgeable "General" was conspicuously absent from the Willow restart. It seems that she was extended an offer to work the Tour of Anchorage, which she no doubt gratefully accepted, leaving the rest of us to be in charge of Eric and getting him ready to go. I was pretty worried until I heard that she had actually devised a timeline for us to follow.
Warren Palfrey from Yellowknife comes off of Willow Lake
Ryan Redington comes off of Willow Lake
We left at around 5:30 and headed back to Wasilla to indulge in what is becoming a tradition for us after Iditarod Restart -- eating at Cadillac Cafe. A yummy hamburger and some fries....the day before my new "POST-IDITAROD" diet was to begin. Well, it's always nice to go out with a bang.
So, that leaves me here on this day, Tuesday, wondering where Eric and all of my "step furkids" are...last I saw, he was in at Rainy Pass. He dropped two dogs, Lycos and Jewels, at Finger Lake, so he's down to 13 dogs now. He should be in good hands, if he's still at Rainy Pass, since Bonnie and Jim are weathered in there right now. They were supposed to fly out to and back from Rainy Pass yesterday afternoon but I got word via radio phone last night that they were weathered in. More recently, I got a message this morning that they didn't expect to be able to get out of Rainy until tomorrow. This means that I am now a dog drop contact for Eric, since Bonnie is not here...I hope for his sake and mine that there are no more dropped dogs for a good, long time. Fingers crossed!
Updates to come as I find out more information...
Posted by LMorrison at 7:58 PM 0 comments
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Posted by LMorrison at 8:04 PM 1 comments